girl on the rise.

I’m sorry. For falling in love with you.
I’m sorry. For being such a HUGE dissapointment.
I’m sorry. For being your biggest regret.
I’m sorry. For being your biggest mistake.
I’m sorry. I wish it was easier than this to get over you.

I never ment to fall so deeply in love with you. I never ment to dissapoint you. I never ment to make you regret me. I never ment to be your biggest mistake. I never want to feel this way again. I never want to fall in love again.
I’m sorry!

To the guys who i may have lead on. I’m sorry, I’m still too in love with my ex to put myself in that position again.

To the one guy that i may have given my whole heart to at one point and now that i have the chance i’m completely ruining it. I wish so much that i could fall in love with you. I wish so much that i could be everything that you want. I wish so much that i could love you. I’m sorry. I’m sure i have now dissapointed you. I’m sure you regret me. I’m sure i’m a big mistake for you. I’m sorry. So very sorry. I do love you, i’m just not in love with you. I have always loved you. Until HE came along and i fell so hard for him that now its hard to even get up.

To the friends that i may have made HATE me because all i’ve cared about the past two years is HIM. All i’ve wanted is him. All i’ve done is try to get him to love me, when even i now know he was never going to love me, not the way i want him to. I’m sorry. I want you all to know that i do care about you and i wish so much that i didn’t fall in love with him. because then i would have payed more attention to my destroyed friendships instead of my doomed relationship.

To those friends that have stood by and watched me get hurt over and over again.
THANK YOU!
You guys are the best friends i could ever ask for. You were there for me through everything and I am so lucky to have you! I’m glad that my attempt to save my doomed relationship didn’t ruin our friendship. I am forever thankful to have you! and hope that i never lose any of you!

To those few family members who know whut i’ve gone through and have been there for me and tryed to help me. Thank You. I am forever thankful to have such amazing family members.

I wish i could save the relationship i am now ruining. But like most things in my life… Theres no hope.
and trust me when i say, you don’t want me…. i only ruin peoples lives. and i have so many problems you don’t want them. So run while you can. Get out while you can. Before you get drawn into my hopelessness. Before you realize that i hurt myself on a daily basis because its the only pain i can control.

and again i say,
I’m sorry.